“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing(treasure),

and obtaineth favour of the Lord.”


What does “findeth/finds” mean in the above verse? It means: ‘to come upon [something] by searching or effort ‘.

Whoever finds“who” ?

A wife… not a happening lady or a girlfriend.

Why? Because a godly man can come upon a “wife” by searching [by the Spirit], not a girlfriend, for this latter is seen everywhere and anywhere…thus, she isn’t to be sought for. Only something precious, treasurable and of excellent quality indeed is sought for diligently and meticulously and, then, is FOUND. In like manner, the Spirit of a godly man searches carefully, and with discernment, until he comes upon/finds a “wife”, the woman who is a “wife”[that is, she bearsthefruit/virtues of who a wife isindeed] brought into “being” by the Holy Spirit, before she is recognized as his wife before God and man.

So, who is a wife? She’s a helpmeet unto her man(Genesis 2:18).

You don’t become a wife when you get married literally/”physically”, you become a wife[in your closet] BEFORE the “physical” manifestation. Meaning?

Whoever(a godly fellow) that finds you, and- thus-desires&decides to marry you,must find a wife( a prepared fellow)…not a girlfriend.

The problem why some sisters in Crist will continue to lament about the fact that nobody wants to marry/settle down with them is ‘cause they aren’t YET wives.They are merely “girls”: that is, “toddlers” in understanding and spiritual wisdom.

You become the material that will ‘cause a godly man to so desire to spend the rest of his life with you as a single lady. Amen?

Whoever findeth you, must find a WIFE…and, thus, finds a GOOD thing(treasure).

Why? Because she will do him GOOD and not evil all the days of her life(see Proverbs 31:12).

Now, who’s a wife?

A wife is – primarily- a HELPMEET (helper)- unto her man. Tobe a helper indeed, you must understand the principle of “Unity of Vision” in marriage: that is, you must understand that God has you joined unto another fellow as one flesh for a Reason, encapsulated in the Vision He has in store for that marital union. Thus, you must be prepared, beforehand, to be a helper unto your husband – in all sense- in whatever Vision the LORD has prepared for you both to carry out upon the earth.

Who’s a wife?

Secondly, a wife is a virtuous woman, whose price is far above rubies(Proverbs 31:10)!

I know there’s this way of reasoning thatmarriage is the union of two imperfect fellows, so that they shall become perfect.Well, that isn’t true, for it isn’t written in the Word ofGod.

A “wife”, according to the way of the LORD, is a woman who fears the LORD [fundamentally]. Thus, as you build up the Seed of a “wife” in you, this latter is the most paramount. Why? Because the fear of God is the Beginning of Wisdom (Proverbs 1:7a). Meaning? It is the Key to unlock every other doors that shall bring out the “wife” in you before you’ll say: ”Yes, I do”. Which are:

–         Diligence and ability to be industrious: Proverbs 31:27b,13,19 says:

“…she eateth not the bread of idleness”

”She seeketh wool, and flax, and WORKETH WILLINGLY with her hands.

She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff”.

“She MAKETH fine linen, and SELLETH it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant”


“…she is NOT AFRAID of the snow: for all her household are clothed with scarlet”(verse 21).

–          Selflessness and charity: Proverbs 31:29 says, “She stretched out her hands to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy”. Why?

Because, it is written, ”give and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, shaking together and running over shall men give unto you”. Genuine giving is wisdom at work! It’s one of the Secrets of operating under open heavens, flooded with divine bliss. You develop this blissful facet of your person, even the seed of “Wife” in you, before you’ll say, ”Yes, I do”. Be openhanded and generous to all wisely.  Amen?

–          All-round Edification and Development: by the Wisdom of the Spirit at work in you, that waters the Seed of a “wife” in you, you are equipped to grow spiritually and character-wise. Strength(in your Spirit) and honor/dignity(in your personality) should be your clothing(character). Then, when you shall be recognized as a “wife” by all(that is, in that “time” to come), you shall REJOICE(Proverbs 31:25).

–          Wisdom in Word and Action: Proverbs 31:26a says: ”she openeth her mouth with WISDOM…”. The wisdom of the Spirit in Word and in Deeds is so indispensable to operate under a blessed marital atmosphere. Why? Because many homes, even in the body of Christ, have been wrecked by the enemybecause of the lack of Wisdom both in Word and, thus, in Deeds. We need more “Abigails” in the Body of Christ (if peace shall mark our marital unions): meaning, women who are of good understanding (I Samuel 25:3c) and who act wisely to save situations (see I Samuel 25:32-35).

–          Words of Kindness: Proverbs 31:26b says,”…; and in her tongue is the law of kindness”. Yes, the Wisdom of the Spirit will teach you to speak wisely unto edification &encouragement(even unto your husband eventually), not unto destruction or gossip…sowing bad seed in the heart of men. As you get ”prepared” by the Spirit-bringing to live ”the wife” in you- He will teach you to control your speech…He will teach you how to SPEAK and speak wisely, so that your speech shall be always seasoned with salt(that is, Words seasoned with wisdom, life, healing, peace and love), that you may know how you ought to answer every man, and ,thus, even your husband ultimately(Colossians 4:6). Why? Because some marriages have failed and endedup so badly because some ladies bring forth poison out of their mouth towards their husbands, sometimes, under the form of insults. They have said 1000 words, on the top of their voice, even before the man says a word. This isn’t Wisdom.So, it’s so pertinent(if your marriage shall be peaceful) that you learn to speak wisely, as it pleaseth the Holy Spirit, listening attentively before replying. It is only a fool that says a multitude of words, which shall ensnare him/her in the long run: ”for a fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards[…]Seeth thou a man that is hasty in his words? There is more hope of a fool than of him”(Proverbs 29:11,20).

Rather, let this be your everyday Reality: ”a word fitly spoken(a wise Word) is like apples of gold in pictures of silver”(Proverbs 25:11).Yes, for whosoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps his soul from troubles(Proverbs 21:23).

Ifyou yieldyourperson(even your tongue) to the leading of the Spirit, the very Spirit of Wisdom, then this shall NOT be your portion: ” It is better to dwelling a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house”(Proverbs 21:9) AND “A continual dropping ina very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. Whoever hideth her hideth the wind…” (Proverbs 27:15-16a).

However, there is gold, and a multitude of rubies, but the lips of knowledge area precious jewel(Proverbs 20:15). Possess it! Say unto Wisdom, ”thou art my sister” and call Understanding your kinswoman(Proverbs 7:4).

–        Depth of Vision: this has to do mainly with your Calling, and, later, its development,even when you shall get married. One of the Workings of the Wisdom of the Spirit in you is to bring unto maturity and lasting productivity the Gifts(talents) Christ Jesus gave unto you. That is,you co-operating with the Holy Spirit obediently to carry out the will of the Father, through you, upon the earth…even BEFORE you’ll say, ”Yes, I do”. Why is this so important? Because- it aches me to say this- many ladies in Christ are living unfulfilled and visionless lives, thus they can’t be of any help to their man! Visionaries are those who make radical and long-lasting impact in the Kingdom of our Father. A godly man won’t desire to get married to a liability…a visionless woman, because she will be a burden, rather a burden bearer(help mate) together with him.

Only a woman of Vision, Prayer and Purpose makes the heart of her husband trust in her, for he shall have no need of spoil(Proverbs 31:11).

–        Spirit of wise Expenditure, Productivity & Creativity: Proverbs 31:16 says, ”She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard”.

No man wants an unwise home-manager as wife. No man desires a “myopic” woman as wife. Thus, begin earlier to spend wisely( that is, learn how to manage your income prudently and take care of a home: that is, keeping a house tidy and always appealing), develop new skills in every possible sector: for instance, learning new recipes(that is, improving  your cooking abilities), child-rearing(taking care of other people’s children)…to mention a few.

Then, by the Wisdom of the Spirit be productive…in all you lay your hands to do. Oh, we have received an Anointing, from the Holy One, by which we know ALL things(I John 2:20). Thus, operate therein! Then, your excellent works shall praise you in the gates(Proverbs 31:31b)… even before you enter into marriage (wherein, you shall be called “””Blessed” by your children and your husband). Amen?

  Finally, a “wife”- who is FOUND- ”Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land”(Proverbs 31:23). Where is he known? In the gates, the same “locos”(place) where the excellent and gracious works of his wife are known by all(as read in Proverbs 31:31b).  Meaning? The workings of the LORD through you(and, later together with your husband), even as concerning His Vision for your marital union, is God’s way of revealing His glory [through you both].That is, an Atmosphere wherein your glorious destiny and that of your partner unfold from glory to glory unto the Glory of God: of a Truth, men shall see your good works, and glorify your Father in heaven!

Know this: God isn’t withholding your husband from you; rather, He has made every Provision, by His Spirit in you, thanks to which you water the Seed of a “wife” He planted in you so that you shall be FOUND by him. This is the primary level of the God’s Factor regarding marriage.

So, my Question unto you this day is: ARE YOU A “WIFE”…SO THAT YOU SHALL BE FOUND?

If not, take those advices mentioned above at heart and apply them by the help of the Holy Spirit. Your Season to be FOUND depends on you(even as you walk obediently with the timing of the Spirit)…good news! So, set out and work on yourself through the precious aid of the Spirit. It is never late. Ifyou arestill younger, a Word is enough for the wise: embrace this Truth and you won’t be stressed up when the “time” is come.

Once again: Whoever finds a wife, finds a GOOD thing, and receives favourfrom the LORD.

Next time, we will see into:is there “A wife” or ”a  KIND of wife” .

Till then…remain WISE:

W-inning, walking ever in…

I-ntegrity& ever…

S-miling Golden…



 I love you Daughters of Zion!


              © DeborahOfHerGeneration2013



Leave a comment

Filed under Marriage

Were you blessed? Share with me.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s